I mentioned before that my sister from Alberta took her whole family to Florida for a few weeks on Spring Break but left me with their little pug Ginger.
She is one cute little ball of fur.
Ginger is a brindle pug. Very rare to see colouring like this on a pug.
Aren't her eyes amazing?
Although Zoe met her when she was less than a year old I don't know that she remembers her too well. They have had some fights that were very "un-pug-like" over some antler bones. Maybe even a little vicious.
Ginger is one year younger than Zoe and runs circles around her.
Literally.
It took a little coaxing and a pocket full of treats to get them sitting this close together.
They are both very demanding as far as attention goes so I think that might be part of where the problem lies.
Best frienemies ever.
We are getting used to being a 2 pug household now. I have a fear that when I'm supposed to drop Ginger back off at the airport in a couple of weeks I may have something else to do that day. If not, I might just make something up.
You know how that works...you try on one thing, but you've already bought something else somewhere else, so you figure, ah...why the heck not just try them on all together?
Who cares if I am mixing 3 totally different patterns with a bright orange velvet blazer?
This is more for Toronto right now, well this and a full sized faux fur lined coat all the way down to my feet,
...where sadly it is still -5 C or -15 C with the windchill.
At our resort we took out a sea kayak and when we were further out from the shore noticed a very secluded beach next to ours.
In fact they were finishing building a large fence to isolate the beach even more. When we got back from our kayak trip we walked down the beach and discovered a large sign on the outside of the fence that read,
NUDE BEACH
No bathing suits.
No cameras.
No children.
Way back in-the-day I was quite free about romping around in the south of France or wherever for that matter sporting a G-string and nothing else. Yeah...not a whole lot of body issues with myself back then.
And no, it wasn't because I was super buff or thin.
I had confidence and a whole lot of,
I-don't-give-a-crap,
I'm young and I'm gonna do whatever I want to
attitude.
Yeah, I was that chick.
Flash forward... 25 years have passed, gravity and age have taken over and I see myself differently in the mirror.
And often I don't care for the image staring back at me.
That isn't me. I'm still a hip current 20 something hiding somewhere under that old person's skin.
But the mirror is telling another story.
With an objective eye I view my old/new/not-really-mine body and start picking out every
single.
damn.
flaw.
Flabby thighs, Buddha belly, chicken wings, veins, cellulite... and lately, wrinkled elbows, new scars and fatty knees.
Bye bye confidence.
Hello self doubt.
The fact remains...I'm not getting any younger. Every day I am one step closer to death. In 10 years from now (if I'm lucky enough to still be alive) I will look back at myself in photos and wonder what the heck I was so critical about.
The idea of that nude beach fascinated me.
It gnawed at my brain.
It resonated with the dark puddle of fear in the pit of my stomach.
It pulled me towards it with its promises of freedom,
fanciful and carefree self acceptance,
with a whole lot of **ck everyone attitude backing it up.
I sat on the beach wondering if I could do it. Just, you know, prove something to myself.
Prove that I'm still alive.
Prove that I'm still adventurous.
Prove that I can still be unpredictable.
Prove that I'm not that old gal in the mirror.
I thought about it more than I'd like to admit.
What did I care if some old dude saw my naked? Or anyone for that matter?
Would I feel differently walking around on a beach without wearing any clothing? I couldn't hide behind a well chosen cover-up or beach towel. I had to put it all out there.
This was the only time in my life I kind of wished I hadn't become obsessed with hair removal. sorry...TMI
I eyed up the entrance to that beach.
I stared at it.
I glanced over my shoulder at it. Just to make sure it was still there.
I wondered...
did I have the guts?
I could see other people going there. Not a whole lot, and FYI...not anybody that I personally wanted to see naked (hello 80-90 year old men!) ...but it wasn't about that.
I didn't want to be scared of something as silly as removing my clothes.
I talked to Robert about the whole idea. He wasn't keen on it. And in typical male fashion was worried someone there might have "bigger equipment". Ah men.
I couldn't shake the idea so I kept working on him daily, wearing him down.
What do you care?
We don't need to do it for long.
Just to say we did it.
We can cross it off our bucket lists. It was never on there...but hey...don't be so picky!
Here is a new one guys...I even pulled out the,
" I need to do it for my blog."
LOL
Yep...I went there.
Best new excuse ever. I secretly knew blogging would eventually be good for something! ha ha!
So, early one morning, when putting out our towels at the beach before breakfast Robert decided that was the opportune moment.
It was now or never baby!
Yes... it was early.
And yes... there were no people on the beach yet.
And yes... this is a bit of a cop-out. However, I realized it would be my only chance.
I wasn't even in my bathing suit and had to strip down out of my shorts, t-shirt and undies.
Which I did.
We both did.
We walked around for a bit.
Went in the water a little.
Looked at each other.
Laughed,
shrugged
and then put our clothes back on and went for breakfast.
Anti-climatic?
Maybe,
a little.
It probably would have been different if there were people on the beach staring at us. Instead we only had to look at each other. After being married for 23 years we kind of know what to expect.
Neither one of us wanted to start frolicking on the sand letting the waves crash up on us while we made out à la "From Here to Eternity"
or even sit on the beach chairs without a towel underneath. So it wasn't quite as sexy as I'd thought. I've fooled around on beaches before and sand gets in places where I really don't care for it. Is that a sign of aging? Or wisdom?
I am grateful that there were no mirrors on that beach.
I couldn't judge myself.
The only one judging were the fish and the crab and they didn't seem to care.
My mind and body were
free
just to be
happy
warmed by the sun
and alive with the ocean breeze, the heated breath of a forbidden lover, softly caressing my body.
I found the 20 year old carefree crazy girl on the beach that morning.
She's been with me all along.
She is the part of me that dresses in wild colours and fitted dresses, dances with abandon shaking parts of my body that shouldn't be and refuses to be told by anyone how to "age appropriately".
She was fine with letting the sun shine where it hadn't before.
Don't freak out or anything...but while trying to install Disqus on my Typepad blog all of my 6,000 comments are no longer there.
They aren't lost forever...but are stored in a text document with an error that I am unable to open or modify to the qualifications of Disqus in order to import all of the old comments.
Yes folks this is the dirty awful underbelly of blogging when you are not an expert in HTML or any other programming language.
I am still hopeful that someone from Typepad will be able to solve this problem as the people from Disqus are clearly not willing to simply go in and fix the one line of code that is the issue. Yes they can pinpoint it for me, but that is it. My kingdom for a computer programmer!
We had a wonderful trip and would highly recommend Jamaica, Sunset Oasis Resort in Montego Bay (No I'm not getting paid anything for saying that, in fact...don't go. I'm worried this place will become too popular once word gets out.)
The weather was perfect.
The water was warm and crystal clear.
Snorkeling right from the beach.
The people were fabulous.
And the food was delicious.
{sigh}
Don't mind me.
It may take some time before I get off of Jamaica time and back onto Toronto time.
I did this just to see how many patterns I could get into one outfit.
I wanted to shock the genius at the "Genius Bar" today. It didn't work. She had dreadlocks, and loads of tattoos and those wooden things they put in their ears.
I think she was kinda of shocked when she turned on my computer though.
It acts like it is possessed. Horror movie possessed. Scary glow-in-the-dark green buzzing lines, flickers, strobe lights and spasms possessed. Like a demon is trying to claw its way out and take over the world.
After a mere two hours at the genius bar and consultations with at least 5 other geniuses, most of them standing around and staring in awe at the spectacle that was my computer screen, it was agreed that the graphics card is toast and must be replaced.
I curse you Apple! All the crap about the computer that will never fail. Best marketing brainwashing ever.
Top - Anthropologie, Jeans - 7 For All Mankind, Necklace - handmade, Booties - Ms. Mooz, Cross body bag - thrifted
Sad thing is I am now in too deep with them. We own 2 laptops, 1 ipad and 1 iphone.
They now have my computer for 7-10 days due to the long list of repairs on the computers and technology that "never fails".
I am in full swing on my self-taught speed course on how to use a laptop.
If I had to use this screen daily I would be blind in a month.
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